'Walk the Line' was AMAZING!
So much to add about it...just too tired to type
I just listened to Madonna's new album...
What happened to you, Madonna???
But I was happy to hear 'The Legend of Johnny Cash'
Well I'm supposed to be going on a date tonight with someone that I should not really trust, but I keep falling for mysterious guys. This one is quite different than the rest I have fallen for. He is much much older, and so mysterious about everything...but I find it so fascinating. He said I inspired him to do something from something I had questioned him about...I have a feeling about what it could be, but it's something I said when I was drunk and you can just imagine what it could be about.
My cousin that lives in NY called me the other day to tell me that she is gay. In Albanian culture its almost like a sin to even date outside of the Albanian culture, and being gay and Albanian is not something you ever hear about. Inside I knew she was, it was just a matter of time when she would tell everyone. Well the families reaction was what I thought it would be. My aunt(her mother) cried all day, my mother was shocked and baffled on how she could have missed it, and my grandmother set up an appointment for my cousin and a priest to talk...haha wow. It's was very hard for my cousin to come out to the family because her mother always shows so much hatred for gays. She just turned eighteen in August, and I would have thought she would tell her mother awhile ago since yesterday I found out she has had a relationship with her boss for six months now. My love for her does not change, nor does my respect for her...my worry is everyone else around her, but she is strong and will make it through anything life throws at her.
It's almost December, which means one thing----I'M LEAVING FL!!!
but only for a bit. maybe...
I wish we talked, so I could help you out. But old habbits die hard, and I'm stuck here wondering why...
"Remember to let her into your heart
And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost, your witness
Ash, Reg, and I went to Halloween Horror nights Friday night. It's always awkward having someone you never hang out with outside of school or work, and then try to get to know them better-especially when they are thirty years old. My perspective changed of this guy that I thought I knew pretty well. I guess for the better, but we both sort of changed our outlook on each other. He bought me a Long Island ice tea and a jello shot, which I had tried before. I told him to buy me a drink, and mentioned I had not eaten since 2 that day(it as about 11 then) So, he came back with a Long Island ice tea-which he made ordered very strong. Haha wow...Thanks a lot! But I was stupid enough to trust someone with my drink. Someone I do not know. But it turned out to be interesting to say the least. Don't really remember much of the line on the Hulk, but supposedly I said some things I should not have to him. I was in a great state of comfort...
Today I saw him, and all he did was laugh. It was very awkward for the both of us. We both kind of don't know how to take whats going on.
Today was a good day. Spent 2 1/2 hours at a student government meeting-which was the downfall for the day...but it was better than doing nothing at home.
Took my little brother trick or treating around the neighborhood, then left to meet up with Chris, Ash, and Bri. Then we hung out at the park, ran away from the cops, and then had mad passionate sex together.
That last part was a joke, but if we had the chance to...
Anywho, then Chris and I went to Denny's where we met up with Jac, Dan, Corey and some of his friends...fun times. Corey is a crazzzzzzzzyyyyy guy, but such a great guy as well. He's hilarious- just wish we could hangout more often...
Yea and now I feel bad because I left the goodnight kiss out...and I seem to always do this sort of thing to this poor guy. Chris is a great guy, I know. I know! So what's the problem? It's me, yet again.
This month is going to be crazy...
I need a job really bad.
So he asked me "where are we going with this?"
and I answered "what am I to you"
he answered "my everything. I can't stop thinking about you. It's driving me nuts knowing we are just considered friends when we are so much more and you don't want to admit it. all i know is that my emotions for you is like a roller coaster all the time i never know what to think and its just tearing me up like crazy just thinking about not being with you or just accepting that well be friends"
well yes. That about sums it up. He makes it impossible for me to hate him, and I want to so bad. I want something to be wrong with him, so I can just run away from this.
WOW I love this weather...
Well the hurricane was a nice escape from the day. My day was filled with sleeping and reading. I'm glad I was sick a day I had to be stuck at home with the family.
As you see, I changed my background. It's a hint to what my Halloween costume is.
It's a change, but I think I like the regular plain layout...I'll probably change it tomorrow.
I love guys that know how to kiss!!! It's great.
I don't want a boyfriend...but he just does not want to listen to me. He wants to take it to that, and I keep ignoring it. We'll see what happens. It's too much fun not worrying about relationships, and its been awhile since I had a steady someone. And I really don't want someone steady right now, but why does he have to be so great...damn it.
I did a bit of cleaning today in my room, and I found some of my old diaries. The things I thought about just about five months ago. Why did I even waste time on such stupid things and people. It's amazing how I changed my outlook on life and people around me in just a short period of time. I just don't give a crap anymore. I just wish I didn't waste so much time on that hideous guy. What the hell was I thinking! Wow...haha. I hope I never have to see him, or maybe it would be good to see him so he could be like "damn look at what I missed out on" Haha yea, that would be great.
I'm rambling on and on...I need to go to bed.